Well Came across This very interesting Mail a while ago.Thought id share it ... Hav fun :D
**Hello, my name is Busted P. Mathews. I am suffering from rare anddeadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity,fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, livingwith a girlfriend with 26 bras on and guilt for not forwarding out 50billion fucking chain letters...**
...sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send themon, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in Arkansas with abreast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to haveit removed before her redneck parents sell her off to thetraveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give youand everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh,looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll getlaid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch offucking bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCKYOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than tosend me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letterleprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleepfor not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser in 5 A.D.and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflowerand if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the GuinnessBook of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatantstupidity.Fuck them!
If you're going to forwardsomething, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing. I'veseen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor,wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel fromsome omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actuallycontributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your ownunpopularity.* ***THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: ****
Chain Letter Type 1:
** (scroll down)
**Make a wish!!! **
**Keep Scrolling **
No, really, go on and make one!!!
**Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish somethingelse!!! **
**Not that, you pervert!! **
**Wasn't that fun? :)
**Hope you made a great wish :)
**Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, **you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a highbuilding into a pile of manure. ****It's true! **Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, **THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
**Here's how it goes:
**Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you **for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you **for sending them a stupid chain letter.
**Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you **for sending them a stupid chain letter, **and may form a plot on your life.
**Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you **for sending them a stupid chain letter **and will napalm your house.**Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
****Chain Letter Type 2 :
**Hello, andthank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starvinglittle boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, noparents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, becausefor every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to theLittle Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy fromBaklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we haveabsolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all acomplete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 peoplein the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentallysend this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. **Thanks again!!
****Chain Letter Type 3 : **Hi there!! **This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutelyincredible because there was no email then and probably not as manysad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works...Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or somethinghorrible will happen to you like:**
**Bizarre Horror Story #1Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She hadrecently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in acrack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down adrainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.Not only did she smell nasty, she died. **This Could Happen To You!!!
**Bizarre Horror Story #2 **Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got achain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he washit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swingthat way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eatadorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could HappenTo You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everythingwill be okay. **
**Chain Letter Type 4 : ****As if you care,here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to all your friends.
A friend is someone who is always at your side.A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, **and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood.
**A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat fullof assholes.
**A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.
**A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about yoursad, sad life.
**A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they reallythink you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.
**A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets **the cheque and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry...that'sthe cleaning lady.
**A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants hiswish ofbeing rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never havesex ever again! The point being? If you get some chain letter that'sthreatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of yourlife, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off bymaking them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth,who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose onlysavior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forwardthis mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? **
**Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find allyour bras and underwears missing tomorrow morning!